If I Won Happy Money, I’d Eat Peperos All Day
I had a lesson with my free talking class yesterday where I taught them the conditional phrase “If…would.” Â (Ex. “If I won the lottery, I would be very happy.”)
First, I had to explain what the lottery was.
“Lottery? Â Lotto?” Â I tried several combinations of this word. Â Utter fail. Â “Buy ticket, pick numbers. Â Win lots of money, hooray!” Â (throw arms in air)
“Ohhh,” they said. Â “Loto!”
“Yes,” I sighed. Â “Loto.”
“Happy money,” explained one boy.
Part of the lesson required the students to complete sentences. Â Here were some of the results:
“If I won the lottery, I would put an escalator in my home.”
“If I could live anywhere, I would live in the sun.”
“If I were thin, I would be very happy.”
This last one, said by a 6th grade girl who is not overweight in the slightest.
These epiphanies were followed by a ‘Would you rather’ session, where they had to choose between two undesirable situations.
“Would you rather have a handsome, dumb husband, or an ugly, smart one?”
The handsome, dumb husband received a unanimous vote. When I asked why, their answers were logical:
“If he was too smart, then I would feel less smart.”
“I can teach him to be smart, but I can’t make him handsome.”
I couldn’t fault their choice.
“Would you rather be extremely hairy or bald?”
This one split the class.
“Hairy. Â I can wear a sweater, no one knows.”
“Bald. Â Wig.”
The students were also unsure about whether they’d rather have three arms or three legs. Â Rather than looking at this as a negative situation, they really saw the silver lining.
“Three arms. Â Can do many things.”
“No, three legs. Â Move very fast.”
They would also rather be the tallest man in the world, because “shortest man – face, not good.”
When given a choice between two Korean celebrities, all of the girls chose the same one. Â When I asked what was wrong with the loser, Kim Da-Som summed it up neatly.
“One is very powerful. Â One is very handsome. Â Handsome is better.”
I pity the unattractive, powerful men who may one day try to woo these girls.
* * * * *
Yesterday was also Peppero day. Â No, that’s not Korean for Veteran’s Day. It’s a holiday sponsored by Lotte, a company that makes a number of products, among them the peppero.

November 11th was chosen because the number 11 looks like 2 peppero sticks standing next to each other. Â Another example of Korean logic and ingenuity. Â Jared and I were inundated with various forms of peppero throughout the day – it’s amazing how many variations of chocolate pretzel sticks they can come up with.
The kids were also a bit hopped up on sugar, which explains the enthusiasm of my 1st grade class when I said the word ‘tiger’ in Korean and successfully wrote it on the board. Â All 28 of them broke out into spontaneous applause, and one small pigtailed girl leapt onto her chair.
“Teacher!” Â She shouted, flashing a double thumbs up. Â “Very good!”
I may not be able to wow the adults with my conversation skills, but I can stop traffic by asking a bunch of eight-year-olds to draw a tiger. Â That, my friends, is what they call progress.