Current Events

I lied when I said I’d be updating the blog and/or starting a new one in a week. Nearly a month has passed since that post and much has happened.

What has not happened, however, is people making suggestions. So I still have no name suggestions for the new Australia blog. Looks like I’m on my own here, faithful reader (s?).

Since my last post, here are some things that have happened.

1. I have been shit on three times by fruit bats in the Blackbutt Reserve. First it was on my leg, then on my wrist. Yesterday, one particular bat exhibited stunning accuracy and smashed me right on top of the head. Awesome.

2. I got a job. I work for a surf clothing store at the local shopping mall. Kind of like I did when I was seventeen. Some might say I am coming full circle. Some might say I am hitting rock bottom. I’ll leave it to you to decide. I am managed by an 18-year-old and a 19-year-old. What’s that? A unanimous vote for rock bottom?

3. We got a car. Well, really, Jared and his parents did all the searching and procuring of said car, all I had to do was be surprised when he picked me up from work in it. White subaru station wagon, ’95. We don’t do flashy. Most importantly, it is an automatic – woohoo! My manual driving lessons are on hiatus so I think this is safer for everyone.

4. Surf lessons are underway. I ordered a wetsuit off of eBay, and it arrived two sizes too small. I think I used to have a cabbage patch kid that would fit easily into this wetsuit. However, with the magic of stretching, I managed to get it on and get in the water. Although I still have not mastered the art of standing up on the board, I did see dolphins. Jared guided my board through the surf so I was at least able to catch some waves while continuing to lie facedown on the board, much to the disgust of the surrounding surfers.

5. The east coast of Australia had the biggest dust storm in something like seventy years. I woke up on Wednesday morning to find the atmosphere completely orange.  Dust had blown in from the outback, through Canberra and all the way up the New South Wales coast to Queensland. People were advised not to exercise and that it would pass. It did. The dust on my pillow that was in front of the window, however, did not pass and I have had to pummel it several times so far.

6. I learned secondhand about the wrath of magpies. While driving around Newcastle, I saw a man on a bicycle who had long antennaes sticking out of his helmet. “What’s that?” I said. “To keep away the magpies,” Jared said. I laughed. “No, really. What’s that for?” “You laugh,” Jared said. “I’m the one who’s going to be laughing when you get attacked by magpies.” That afternoon, walking back from work, I saw a man cycling down the sidewalk. Suddenly, a vicious black and white bird swooped down from above and pecked his helmet, hard! He cowered in fear and pedaled faster. The bird flew down no less than FOUR times in total, giving the cyclist a lifetime of bad memories and me a newfound fear of birds. “I told you,” said Jared. Currently contemplating wearing an antennaed helmet every time I exit the house, like sunscreen.

These are the main things.